Posts Tagged ‘abortion’

Poverty: The Solution. Finally!

Poverty should be eradicated. Everyone says so.  I realized however, that  instead of eliminating a condition (poverty),  akin to eliminating words from dictionaries, we should eliminate those that have the condition. Like, we can’t eliminate bad weather, but we should eliminate unfit buildings so the condition called weather has no effect.

This thesis  stands on the shoulders of our forbears —  simply extending Johnathon Swift’s 1729 genius proposal, too modestly called A Modest Proposal .  Intended to solve poverty resulting from the Irish Potato Famine, he advised poor mothers to sell their excess babies for food.  Thus a proper (but unGoogleable) title for this essay would be

A Modest Proposal 2.0

In 1992, Swift’s idea, was resurected and repackaged by none other than the United Nations, whose Agenda 21 aims to reduce human population by 93%.  If properly organized by the masterminds, a 93% reduction should pretty much take care of the poor. No more worries,  late rent, calls from collectors … and lots of empty houses to chose from.

Getting rid of 93% of 7 billion people is no mean feat.  Hitler’s  elimination of just a few millions was terribly botched. Khmer Rouge the Cambodian runner up, was no more successful. Just how does one go about getting rid of so many useless eaters?

Economic theory says that  a successful long-term operation must be self sustaining. Greed is the best motivator and profit the best expression of greed. Therefore, internal profitability is essential to the task, though a few corporate psychopaths would certainly help.

Traditional Solutions

War, once the primary reducer, isn’t so effective these days –you’ll be surprised to learn that  war casualties have been declining for centuries.  As Hitler discovered, getting rid of so many bodies is  cumbersome and unprofitable. Even bullets, cheap as they are, have their own disadvantage since groups like Amnesty International insist on digging up the bodies. How inefficient is that? New promising solutions from Africa, in the form of child soldiers trained to hack their prey to pieces, has been unfortunately been deemed unacceptible. Meddlers!

Margaret Atwood’s super-efficient Soylent Green solution, envisaged in her novel Year of The Flood, suffers from a self defeating logic. In order to eat humans, there must be enough people left to do the eating. The mechanized process she envisioned (vats, grinders, etc.) requires industrial investment, which is normally motivated by growth. But if one consumes one’s supply, the business must  inexorably shrink. A mining model, based on ever diminishing ore, is inapplicable because mining is an ongoing business whereas Agenda 21 is a singular endeavor.

Poisoning is the traditional method of getting rid of people. Arsenic and hemlock were the murderers’ friend in centuries past until forensic meddlers sprang up.  Big Pharma has tried numerous times to find the perfect poison, relabeled to ‘medicine’. Oxycontin and Thalidomide spring to mind, but as the reader will appreciate, only a relative few were persuaded to imbibe these offerings. We must liquidate billions.

Vaccines would have had great potential, but for the ineptness of the  US medical system that pokes needles into kids so often compared to other countries, that the entire regime is called into question. Besides, the side effects (Autism etc.)  generate picayune profits that only distract.  Stay focused.

In all this litany of failure, there is one unsung hero: Fluoridation. Fluoridation is the art of slipping small but persistent quantities of toxic mine waste into municipal tap water, under the guise of protecting kid’s teeth, especially poor kids, the exact focus of our plan. The bluntness of this instrument is more than compensated by the sheer brilliance of its execution. To wit:

  1. Municipalities are persuaded to actually pay for this waste, a neurotoxin no less, adding to the profits of  phosphate fertilizer mining companies.
  2. Dentists increased their profits by treating a consequential condition called fluorosis, which now exceeds profits from the cavity business– which they claim, has declined as a result of fluoridation.  Activists are so silly these days they can’t even get the point across that it was brushing not fluoride that reduced cavities!  Whew.
  3. Government bureaucrats have even found a way to profit, since highly paid experts are required to fend off antifluoridation activists while other colleagues dissemble  truth away from the tiny fraction of poor petitioners whose health is  demonstrably jeopardized, despite the ongoing effort to suppress symptoms, or at least awareness.

The  problem with Fluoridation is that, while it renders populations nicely stupid and brittle as fluoride accumulates respectively in the brain (lower IQ) or bones (osteoporosis), there is no final drop dead date or trigger mechanism and the job simply takes too long.  One could increase fluoride concentrations but unfortunately, developments have forced the opposite, to ensure the toxin stays under the radar, so to speak.

Cosmetics are similar to fluoridation in that women and increasingly men, are persuaded  to smear a generally toxic mixture on their skin, the single largest organ of the body. Profits are stupendous, both up front for sales and downstream for the cancer industry that pretends to fix everyone up again. As with fluoridation though, we just can’t wait.

Novel attempts abound. Nuclear power stations have been located on earthquake prone areas – a Japanes specialty.  Russians prefer to burn their nukes. Oh those Russians. Americans,  imaginative as always, are now fracking under a nuclear waste storage facility. Unlike atomic war, which is rather unpredictable as regards the 1%, the nuclear poison option is clumsy and slow acting. Between Fukushima, and Chernoble, not nearly enough people died for our purposes. Pity.

Obviously, in order for this project to succeed, somethincg radical is required. Ebola? WMD? Bio weaponry? Religious war? Genocide? As we have seen, these suffer similar drawbacks: unpredictablility, unprofitable, meddlers, etc. Sigh.

The Final Solution

Fortunately, several orchestrated phenomenon have emerged that while not necessarily interesting, speedy, profitable or predictable, nonetheless are doing the job.

1. Birth control and abortion– very effective. In Canada alone, approximately 100,000 abortions are performed per year which suggests 4 million souls are missing from the economy.  This makes the emerging pension issue very interesting as boomers wonder who will fund their retirement. Groups such as Rockefeller founded Planned Parenthood are very effective at encouraging the necessary social acceptance of sex without consequences. At least till the Aids virus came along. But at least AIDS works in the right direction – profit and elimination.

Related item: Reduction of public health programs  such as  elimination of prenuptial blood tests that hitherto discouraged the spread of genetic/ blood disorders.  Why eliminate a profit center, right?

2. Gay marriage. There is no better way to reduce population than by segregating the sexes. A few manage to induce pregnancies with a variety of technologies, but by and large, gay marriage delivers. For people who aren’t quite sure if they are gay or not, every inducement is offered including school classes that tout coming out, festive Gay Pride Parades, harsh treatment for critics of this regime in Human Rights Tribunals, plenty of taxpayer funded supports and coverage in CBC, Canada’s national radio, etc. With all the excitement and media attention, not to mention hormonal chemicals in the environment, the portion of gays in the population seems to have grown from just a few % 100 years ago, to 15 to 25% today or multiples of that in prison. Talk about progress!

3. Debauchery. Anything goes these days from public fornication (pride parades, theatres) wardrobe malfunctions, drug injection sites, legalization of pot and prostitution, etc. Whether the falling birthrate is correlation or causation really doesn’t matter, although evidence is coming in that such licentiousness actually increases what must be considered the ultimate form of population reduction- PIED – porn induced erectile dysfunction! If ancient peoples are anything to go by, we should start to see people throwing their expensive and unwanted children off cliffs soon enough. Profits are enormous and governments want their share, so the boom continues despite old biddies wringing their hands in the few churches still occupied.

When immigration is discounted, we see that population reduction is well underway in the Western world. Canadian birthrates are only 1.6 per female, well below the 2.1 required for replacement. True to form, the masterminds behind this stupendous achievemnet, the Rockefellers, Bilderbergers, Rothschilds, etc. take no credit.  In the old days while society obeyed religious norms, it was simply called the Prosperity Effect ie rich people tended to have fewer children. But with modern media and the internet in full gear, catering to every taste, we can see the reality is that the 1% is pushing this way. Profits accrue by way of sales of Viagra, sex tourism, Aids treatments, movies, porn, etc.

Just in case there is any slipup, the 1% have arranged the economy, and rules so as to discourage childbearing. Education is made expensive, competitive and mandatory, while wages are squeezed. Who can afford kids these days, let alone 2.1?

The only remaining fly in the Agenda 21 ointment is the continued growth of populations in India, Africa, the third world in general, and pesky pockets such as Canada’s native people, who still seem to know how to get it on.

Having docilized Western people, even to the point of abject acceptance of city pests (Canada Geese, raccoons, skunks, bears, etc) , it only remains to bring the ROW (Rest of World) into line. Fortunately globalists have arranged to transfer wealth and jobs to ROW so that they too can become domesticated to the new reality, the New World Order as it is sometimes called. Westerners, addicted to bread and circuses  will be contented indefinitely. Do not dusturb.

WW3.   People naturally object to the loss of liberty and jobs so evident in Western countries. In addition, the erosion of financial discipline, moral standards, public virtue, tax leakage, etc. brings instability and cognitive dissonance, the inevitable result of which is war, ultimately global war . But since the struggle of war squeezes out excesses and restores virtue (at least for the winners), completing the mission with  a jolly good war is just the right washout, or denoument of Agenda 21.  Excess population (and poverty) gone, virtue restored. The aftermath of WW2 demonstrated this principle. We seem to be well on the way with tensions fomented,  instability and conflict, both  internal and external, growing around the world.

I can’t wait, and hope the reader will join in a sense of shared purpose, excitement and resolve to move our planet toward the coming  golden age. If you have been persuaded by the logical arguments presented herein, please do all you can to ensure a most prosperous, profitable and possibly tasty future. If we all work together, we can finally solve the dilemma of poverty that has plagued humankind since the dawn of time.

Hopefully and blissfully, I remain, your curmudgeonly satirist.