Posts Tagged ‘Mounties’

Fallen Elephants – and Mounties

The elephant was ancient, and wrinkled, and huge, and had looong tusks.  What happened?  Poachers.

Ok, so an old elephant gets killed for ivory to sell to the Chinese. Who cares? She was old anyway. Past breeding, so no impact on dwindling population. Useless eater. And the tusks were HUGE. As you can see from the pic, which is now on my desktop, they reached the ground.

The elephant was wise. She knew her tusks were attracting attention and had taken to hiding in bushes. Or so they said.

The elephant was an icon.  She had a name, Satao, a devoted following and as much protection as could be provided without locking her up in a zoo.

A twitter  search for ‘poachers in Kenya‘  got all the bleeding hearts pouring out their blabber.  Blabber drives me nuts – long on sympathy, short on reality.  Same thing for the hours/days after three Mounties were killed in Moncton.  Knee jerk reactions that obscure truth. Deliberately, to this cynics mind.  Constant repetition of the word  senseless.

Obviously not senseless to everybody. The poachers got happy. The Chinese got ivory. Someone likely got paid off. And the govt, which cried crocodile tears, let it all happen despite warnings.  On purpose? To bring sympathy and maybe some extra conservation $$ to this hardscrabble land?  Sorry if you’re offended, but its my job. As for Satao, hopefully the end came quickly. Would she have preferred a pride of lions eating her?

The solution is so blindingly obvious. My wife. She trims our cat’s claws. She trims our dog’s paws. She trims me.  She’d have the tusks trimmed to a nice short, manageable length in no time, after which poachers, with most ivory gone,  would hopefully find something better to do.

My wife is not unique in the world, and this is such an obvious solution, you’d wonder why nobody thought to do it. Bad idea? Shouldn’t be done? Can’t be done? Ok, how do you trim a wild elephant’s tusks? I don’t know, ask my wife! Maybe it would ruin the parade‘s pecking order. Who knows, but to find the real answer, follow the money.

The tourist money. Aah, they kept this old crone around because her tusks were oh-so-photogenic.  Read: full hotels.  For Satao, it wasn’t the poachers, it was the frequent photographers that really motivated her to hide. Or like some old ladies, maybe she became tired of her endowments. Who knows.

This curmudgeon says: ‘Piss or get off the pot. Trim the tusks or don’t, and accept that elephants don’t live forever and that poachers must eat. Tourists will accept a trim.’

Creative solution – make a deal with poachers. Sell futures on baby tusks and let the poacher worry about keeping ‘his’ elephant safe till they reach an agreed size.  Similar to the CO2 trading scheme. Like lumber, price goes up exponentially with size. Money in the bank as long as the tusks keep growing. Well, maybe that’s a bit of a stretch, given the terrain and other dangers, but with a bit of imagination, I’m sure there’s a way to solve this.

So ignore the blubbering and put on yer thinking cap.

When you’re done with the elephants, and got a little practice, switch to the Mountie tragedy, setting aside MSMedia blabbering.  There’s more than one side to that story.  Resentment against cops is all over the internet, day and night.  But, in contrast to  to the Los Vegas cop killing,  where the killers announced their motive, nary a word in Canuk MSMedia, just the usual politically correct answers:  crazies and the cancelled long gun registry. Read: we don’t like armed civilians and we need money for looney bins.   So why would they talk about guns and not about resentment when the killer was so blatant with the lyrics on his website.  Nobody made the connection I thought was obvious.  Only bloggers told me that yet another local cop had been exonerated just two weeks prior, for a killing the previous year.  As for heroics, more taxi drivers get killed than cops.  Parades for cops but not cabbies.  Huffpost did manage to sneak in the bad cop idea but nothing about failed investigations, police unions, outrageous pay and benefits, aggressive attitudes, drones, militarization, closed ranks/ club mentality or any other of the many symptoms of an emerging…. what?  Frank discussion sorely needed.  Hard work, or do we just forget it?  How can anyone not conclude that bigwigs in the media increasingly prefer us not to have our hunting rifles, but keep their protectors sacrosanct.  The real question is:  Why?

Or as Satao would have alarmed, trunk aloft: aaarrUUUUUmpet.

UPDATE Oct 2014: Closely related is the PTSD fiasco, this time triggered by a cop suicide.  I had suspected that PTSD is really a case of cognitive dissonance.  Tonight a CBC interview with Shirley King, psychologist and author, confirmed this when she let slip, inadvertently I’m sure: “Victims often lose faith in the SYSTEM” (emphasis mine).  So my question is – cause or result? I say the former.  How about you?